The Eulogy, Order of Service and Music

Joyce was bright, lively and creative, she found great comfort from music and loved singing in the various choirs she joined throughout her life.

Her family meant everything to her, and she was always supportive and caring, and if there was ever a family crisis she would step up to the mark to help sort things out.

Her life had not always been easy, and just like any life there had been happy times and sad times, but for Joyce there were times when life was much darker, as at times she suffered from bi-polar, anxiety, and agoraphobia.  She did, however, always have her sense of humour, which was wicked, dry and naughty, and she would get a cheeky look on her face, when she was about to come out with one of her quick witted one liners.

Joyce was born in Brighton on the 16^th April 1929, to William and Dorothy Brown, she was their only child and from an early age she blossomed musically, learning to play the piano.  She grew up in Stanford Road in Brighton, attending nearby Stanford Road Junior School, before going on to Varndean High School for Girls. It was here that she met her lifelong friend Jean, when they were in year 7. Joyce had a great aptitude for the creative arts, and was good at writing, sketching, art and music. 

When she left school she went to join her friend Jean in the Drawing office of Telephone House, and she trained in technical drawing.

Jean had already been working there for a while, and she approached the Manager, Mr Snowball - yes that really was his name and always made everyone in the office laugh!  Jean told him Joyce was looking for a job and in fact she got the job for Joyce.  Joyce also met Eileen when she started working and she also became a lifelong friend.

Joyce and Jean both continued to work in the drawing office of Telephone House until each left to raise a family.  Joyce was able to use her technical drawing skills throughout her life, particularly when her children were buying their homes, or looking to renovate, she loved to help them plot out and draw up how the rooms might be arranged.

As young women, Jean and Joyce enjoyed going to The Dome each Tuesday to watch a variety show, it was a cheap night out. 

Joyce also enjoyed going to dance at The Regent, with friends, and it was here that she met Christopher.

Although Christopher lived in Birmingham, he would come down with his friend Ted to dance at The Regent in Brighton, at the weekends. He enjoyed dancing, and he particularly enjoyed dancing with the young Joyce, and so he just kept on coming down to Brighton to meet her and dance.

In 1952 Joyce and Christopher were married, and Jean was her bridesmaid, and Joyce was also Jean’s bridesmaid when she married. 

Joyce and Christopher had already invested in buying a home, which was being newly built in Mile Oak, one of the first homes to be built there, and after the wedding they moved in.

Jean continued to visit Joyce each fortnight all through their lives, often walking all the way from Hangleton to the bungalow in Mile Oak where Joyce and Christopher Snr were raising Elaine, Chris and Ashley, and all the children thought of her as ‘Aunty Jean’.

Four years after they were married, in 1956, Joyce and Christopher were delighted when their daughter, Elaine was born.  Followed just over a year later with the arrival of Christopher in 1957.

It was after the arrival of the children that Joyce began to have more severe problems with her mental health.

The treatment of mental health problems was not good in the 1950’s.  Joyce spent some time in mental health institutions, and the treatment was harsh, and little was understood about the different conditions like bi-polar.

These times were hard for Joyce and for Christopher, who had to keep on working and was not able to look after the children on a full time basis. So family would step in to help, and the children spent time with family in Birmingham and friends and family in Brighton.

But much of the time she was well and able to look after the children, she was good at caring for them. She enjoyed knitting things for them, although, Elaine remembers a turquoise woolly hat with a long pom pom on which she didn’t like to wear, and her Mum would be chasing her around trying to get her to wear it.

Joyce also enjoyed cooking and would always have a hot meal waiting for them when they came home from school.  In fact, they would get the hot fresh meal and it would be Dad Christopher who had to have the ‘warmed up’ dinner from the oven later when he came home.  Although to Elaine and Chris there was something more appealing about their Dad’s dinner and so he would give them a little from his plate as well. 

Joyce did the best that she could for her family, despite the torment she often found herself in, particularly with her agoraphobia, but she would be at the school watching and supporting the children when they were performing, and she would also play the piano for school assembly. Just like their Mum the children had inherited her musical talents, and she was extremely proud of them all, and over the years she would cut out pieces from the newspaper about them, and keep it in a scrapbook.  There was always a piano at home and in later years, Joyce treated herself to a baby grand.  She always found a lot of peace and comfort from playing her piano and singing, and many solo musicians would come to the house to practise supported by Joyce on the piano.

Ten years after the arrival of son Christopher, son Ashley was born, the family were more settled and Joyce was managing her mental health well, and she loved the joy of having a new baby in the home.  It was like she had a new lease of life.

Although holidays were quite a trial for Joyce, the family did manage to enjoy some holidays at holiday camps, mainly Pontins in places like Camber Sands or Great Yarmouth, although Joyce was never able to go abroad, she did once manage a trip across to the Isle of Wight on the ferry, and the family had a good holiday.

What Joyce did enjoy was riding in the car, and so the family would do driving holidays, where they would go and find a bed and breakfast, or at weekends they would go for days out in the car, driving across to Eastbourne, or to the Rockery by Preston Park.

Joyce had a big heart and wanted to do her best for everyone, so when her Mum needed to be looked after, she had her live with her for as long as she was able to care for her.

Then when daughter Elaine needed help with the care of her daughter, Heidi, Joyce had no hesitation in having Heidi live with her, and she contributed a lot to Heidi’s upbringing.  She loved all of her grandchildren and great grandchildren, and was proud of them all.

It was also in about 1977, when Ashley was in his first year of Portslade Community College that Joyce joined the Choir there, she was in her late 40’s and from then on she found strength from singing in choirs, later joining the Southwick Operatic Society.  Both Joyce and husband Christopher enjoyed opera, and they loved to go and watch performances locally.  But Joyce always had to make sure she was sitting at the end of a row, and close to an exit if she needed to get out.

Her big heart also extended to the love of animals, and she always had cats, and Cavalier King Charles Spaniels, there was Fife, Mary Rose, Lady, Brandy, and Poppy, and she loved to dress them up, she would take them for a walk in the field behind the house, and she got a lot of pleasure from her dogs.

It was her love of animals that saw her end up in hospital, near to death.  It was in the early days of her dementia, when she saw that her cat had an adder, and she tried to get the snake away from the cat, because she did not want the cat to be bitten, instead the snake bit her.  She was lying for quite a while in her garden, when fortunately a neighbour found her, by this time her arm was purple and swollen, and she was rushed into hospital.  Fortunately she began to recover, she became centre stage, which she quite enjoyed, with many experts coming in to examine her.

In fact she was like a cat with 9 lives, she had a strong constitution, and survived, a rat bite, a heart attack (just indigestion she said, before being rushed up to the hospital, blue lights flashing) and a broken femur.

It was 10 years ago that Alzheimer’s was diagnosed, and it was on the 4^th May 2014, when she had to leave her home and go into specialist care.  Two years ago moving into the New Grange Dementia Care Home in Worthing, where she was so well looked after.

Despite all that life had thrown at her, Joyce never lost her sense of humour, she was always there for her family, she was loving and giving and supportive, and for all of you there are good memories to hold in your hearts, and keep Joyce close to you forever.